GRANDMA LOVE

July 29,2020
GRANDMA LOVE
If I were an oak tree….my grandson Lucas has quietly and gradually carved his initials into my trunk.
How can a bundle of such helpless fragility be so powerful?
His target is my heart. His purpose in my life is to etch himself into my soul and in so doing shed a spotlight onto my journey thus far with a new clarity and a new purpose…and did I mention….a new joy that spices what was already there.
He conquered my heart in those sweet moments as he innocently slept (or even fussed) in my arms.

VIEW FROM A GRANDMOTHER’S WINDOW

June 24th, 2020
View from a Grandmother’s Window:


Two precious images. Lucas looking like he’s seeing his mom clearly for the first time (we know he’s not yet 🙂 ). I love to be able to capture these precious moments.
I’m ‘feeling out’ this grandmother thing. Its not just a learning curve for baby and mama.
How much do I say? How much do I teach. Do I wait to be asked….or just charge on in? (not).
Is it enough to just gently shove that baby nipple in his mouth to show how its done, or to say ‘you can’t hold a newborn ‘too much’ at this time.
Grandmother-hood is something about knowing when to ‘step in’ and when to sit on my hands. There’s never a ‘time’ to love however, because that’s an always sort of thing.
Mama’s need to figure out their own way. They need to figure out what works for them and their baby….how to fit this ‘motherhood’ thing into who they are; what they are; and what their life demands from them.
Grandmotherhood is about becoming more expert at being a keen observer; and being ready to be available when its right.
I know I’m going to want to teach about the best way to nourish little Lucas’s body/mind and spirit.
I’ll keep journalling about that!

AN ANGEL MESSENGER (chapter 12)

SEPTEMBER 25,2021
 
EXCERPT FROM  HOLY LOVE: A MEMOIR OF SORROW TO GLORY
 

from an account of receiving a speeding ticket during my single parenting days)

….Then it happened. He did something that had never been done before. It was as if I was nudged into an altered state beyond my well-practiced ritual of receiving my speeding ticket so I could be on my way. He leaned over and peered into my car, making eye contact with me. I was stunned. My heart became my eyes for the first time in my life.

I know this sounds bizarre. However, all I can say is that our mere mortal minds cannot comprehend the idea of seeing with the heart. This is the only way I can describe the moment. I heard him with my heart as well.

His voice enveloped me: his gentle concern substantive and consuming. It was as if It wrapped itself around me in a down quilt. It had the depth of an ocean, yet the whisper of dawn. The sound of his voice caught me like a starving fish on a hook, except it was painless and felt like I was aching to be pulled into his net. He leaned over. I saw his face. He looked to be in his thirties, a handsome man. His face was exquisite as his eyes met mine.

That was the moment that my heart became my eyes. To say that he had blue eyes does not begin to do them justice. They drew me in so that nothing else existed at that moment but the shade of blue. His eyes were a shade of blue-green that I’d never seen before.

It was as if his eyes spoke at that moment, and my heart heard the words and my soul listened as he said, “Please, don’t speed. Somebody is going to get hurt”. That’s all he said, yet it was one of those God-stopping moment of my life.

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HE WILL FIND YOU

Poetry excerpt from Holy Love: A Memoir of Sorrow to Glory
 
 

He will come near to you if you open your heart.

He will wrap himself around you if you seek Him.

He will light your way if you look for Him.

He will hear you if you ask for Him.

If you knock, He will answer.

Because it is a relationship He craves, He will wait for you to come to Him.

Hidden deep within the choosing impulse lies a fertile seed of redemption and glory.

That is why He planted a will within our souls.

So we would ultimately choose to dwell with Him, in His kingdom