Tag: motherhood journey

GRANDMA LOVE

Posted on by Jill E. Smith
July 29,2020
GRANDMA LOVE
If I were an oak tree….my grandson Lucas has quietly and gradually carved his initials into my trunk.
How can a bundle of such helpless fragility be so powerful?
His target is my heart. His purpose in my life is to etch himself into my soul and in so doing shed a spotlight onto my journey thus far with a new clarity and a new purpose…and did I mention….a new joy that spices what was already there.
He conquered my heart in those sweet moments as he innocently slept (or even fussed) in my arms.

VIEW FROM A GRANDMOTHER’S WINDOW

Posted on by Jill E. Smith
June 18, 2020
I didn’t know what to expect when he made his grand entrance, my grandson on June 11th, 2020. He arrived and my son in law sent me a photo of Lucas Liam. He was stretched out in all his glory. Took my breath away.
But when I was sent the photo of my daughter holding her glistening and peaceful newborn on her chest, all I could do was sob. The emotion was just a flood. I had no words to match the sight of my first born with her own first born.
I’m beginning to understand the love for a grandchild. People told me it was amazing, like nothing else, the best. For me it was like those rockets that head into space. At a certain point, shortly after lift off another powerful surge of explosion jettisons the capsule into space while the fuel capsule falls away. The love for my daughter is like that fuel that was the source of the second explosion. My grandson is not just another precious baby. Because he is sourced from my daughter, my experience of him is a direct extension of my love for his mother. They are one in the same.
Could my love for Lucas be double my love for her? I doubt that. God has revealed to me that love has no bounds. It builds upon itself over and over again.

VIEW FROM A GRANDMOTHER’S WINDOW

Posted on by Jill E. Smith

June 24th, 2020
View from a Grandmother’s Window:


Two precious images. Lucas looking like he’s seeing his mom clearly for the first time (we know he’s not yet 🙂 ). I love to be able to capture these precious moments.
I’m ‘feeling out’ this grandmother thing. Its not just a learning curve for baby and mama.
How much do I say? How much do I teach. Do I wait to be asked….or just charge on in? (not).
Is it enough to just gently shove that baby nipple in his mouth to show how its done, or to say ‘you can’t hold a newborn ‘too much’ at this time.
Grandmother-hood is something about knowing when to ‘step in’ and when to sit on my hands. There’s never a ‘time’ to love however, because that’s an always sort of thing.
Mama’s need to figure out their own way. They need to figure out what works for them and their baby….how to fit this ‘motherhood’ thing into who they are; what they are; and what their life demands from them.
Grandmotherhood is about becoming more expert at being a keen observer; and being ready to be available when its right.
I know I’m going to want to teach about the best way to nourish little Lucas’s body/mind and spirit.
I’ll keep journalling about that!

MUSINGS ON MOTHERHOOD (Chapter 31)

MUSINGS ON MOTHERHOOD (Chapter 31)

Posted on by Jill E. Smith
Excerpt from my newly published book (on Amazon in hard and paperback).
HOLY LOVE: A MEMOIR OF SORROW TO GLORY
 

There is a point in our mothering where the path we are on with our children diverge. They will continue their journey separate from us. In actuality, their path is always separate from ours. As mothers, we know that piercing reality of separateness once they breathe air on their own in that chaotic delivery room. Amidst blood and water and tearing flesh, we rejoice at their cries and their new life.

Our journeys intertwine like ivy wrapping itself around the trunk of a tree. Our paths parallel so intimately that we as mothers forget that they are indeed separate from us. As Christian mothers, we know in our hearts they don’t belong to us. They belong to Him first. But as women of the world, we forget and deceive ourselves into thinking we are still attached by that lifeline cord.

There comes a point where we can deceive ourselves no longer.

A MOTHER REBORN (Chapter 30)

A MOTHER REBORN (Chapter 30)

Posted on by Jill E. Smith

EXCERPT FROM MY NEWLY PUBLISHED BOOK

HOLY LOVE: A MEMOIR OF SORROW TO GLORY

In the journey toward Holy Love, Jesus will reveal to us our own sin first. The defenses and walls that our own pride erected and which impede our loving as He designed, are what we need to see. The weightiness of my pride is palpable. I can’t seem to distance myself from it sometimes. It feels so much like it’s a part of me.

Maybe that’s part of my conundrum. Holy Love is how God loves us. Only He can love that way. We are mere imprints of that love, the verb of that love. But we can strive to become its manifestation and live and love in the glow of His Holy Love….His warmth…the eternity that He created and that He dwells within.

In faith, I will wait for that promise.

In the journey toward Holy Love, Jesus will reveal to us our own sin first. The defenses and walls that our own pride erected and which impede our loving as He designed, are what we need to see. The weightiness of my pride is palpable. I can’t seem to distance myself from it sometimes. It feels so much like it’s a part of me.

Maybe that’s part of my conundrum. Holy Love is how God loves us. Only He can love that way. We are mere imprints of that love, the verb of that love. But we can strive to become its manifestation and live and love in the glow of His Holy Love….His warmth…the eternity that He created and that He dwells within.

In faith, I will wait for that promise.